Thursday, 16 October 2014

nepali jokes in english

Feri Chat Suru Bhayo :
...
Keti : timi drinks and smoke garchau
ki nai ???
Keta : nai ma ta kehi pani khadina ...
...
Keti : toit aajkal ko keta bhayera pani
nakhane ...
moh ta wild khaidinchu ta ... ali ali ta
khanu
parcha ni ... malai ta ali ali khane
manche man
parcha timi jasto suddha keta man
pardaina ...
sorry ...
BLOCKED ...
...
aarko keti : timi drinks and smoke
garchau ki
gardainau ?
Keta : aah garchu ... ali ali matrai ...
keti : chiiiii !!! malia ta yasto kei
khane manche
man pardaina ... sorry i don't like
you ...
BLOCKED ...
...
Mother of God ...
...
Hami Keta harulai kehi gare pani
sukha chaina
baaaa ...

return my 30 rupees

===============================================================
Kiran wins 50 lakh by drinking coke of Rs 30. the dealer gave him 25 lakh after deducting tax and other expenses. Angry kiran: Give me 50 lakh or else return my 30 rupeese back!








                           Niran propose a girl

=========================================


Niran proposed a Girl

the girl says i am 1year elder that you 

Niran says: No problem Maiya. i will marry you next year   



meter made in "NEPAL"

there was a japanese tourist came to Nepal for visiting.on the last day. he hired taxi and told driver to take him airport. while going to airport a Toyota car passed the taxi with speed. the japanese said look toyota very fast! made in japan
again after some time a Honda bike with speed passed the taxi and again the japanese tourist says look Honda very fast! made in japan!





for third time Mitsubishi  passed the car with speed and again the japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in japan!" the driver get so angry but he kept quite finally they came to airport and the taxi charge was Rs.1000
What?? the japanese exclaimed... so expensive!
The driver yelled back to the meter and said Meter, made in Nepal very very very fast!!!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = ==  = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 

kiran funny jokes

teacher :who was birbal?
Student:  thaha chaina sir
sir:    ta Bajya lai padai ma dhyan bhaye po thaha huncha?                
Studen  t:who were milan, anil, sanjay ?                                            
Sir:      k thaha?
Student     :afnu chori ma dhayan bhaye bho thaha huncha?



==================================================================


Kiran : how many apples can u.eat in
empty stomach?
Girl: i can eat 7 aples.
kiran:no u can eat only 1 apple in
empty stomach coz when.u eat
2nd apple thats not in empty
stomach.
Girl: wow supper joke i'll tell my
friends
Girl to other girl:. How many apple
can u eat in empty stomach?
Other girl: i can eat 10.
Girl: haaaree..... 7bhaneko
bhaye.euta dami joke bhanthe.



================================================================




british : you  Nepales are  differ in colors,



look we are  all white..?



Nepalese Reply : Horses are  in different

colors

but

donkeys are  all the same.!



==============================================================






kiran asked to niran : Which Comes First ? Sun Or

Moon ?

Niran:  Firstly Moon Then Sun

kiran : how? and why?



.

.

.

.

Niran  : Son comes only after

Honeymoon 
















hamro samaj




English Teacher


====================================================================
kiran recently join the new school and in the first day. english teacher asked him
What does your father do?
kiran: whatever my mom says



                                 abcdefg
====================================================================

kiran:sir i need to go to bathroom
Teacher: first say about A B C D's then only
kiran: A B C D E F G H I J  K L M N O    Q R S T U  V W X Y Z
Teacher: hmmm you forget the P
kiran: no sir i didn't it's running down my leg


                                         ATM password
====================================================================

Niran was drawing money from Nepal Bank by  ATM, Kiran behind him said Ha! Ha! Haaa! i've seen your password
Its 4 asterisks( **** )
thenNiran replied Ha! Ha! Haaa! you are wrong Its "9849"










                                            PUPPY
==========================================================
kiran was the class teacher of the kindergarden. at the end  of the school year,the pupils used togive gift to teacher so, at first florist's daughter handed a gift, he shook it held it overhead and said.i know what is it. it's flower right. girl said that's right.

the next pupil was candy shop owner's son, kiran held his gift overhead, shook it and said.i know what is it, its a box of sweet. yes sir said pupil. but how do you know teacher, "oh just a wild guess"

the next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. kiran held the packet overhead, but it was leaking, he touched a drop of the leakage in the finger and touched to her tongue. it's a wine he said. the pupil said no no sir. again kiran taking large drop of leakage to the tongue and said it's a champange? pupil said no. kiran takes one more drops before declaring, "i give up" what is it?   with the great glee, the boy replied " it's a PUPPY"



                                       How to write 99
===============================================================

kiran: niran write 99
Niran: how?
kiran: write 9 and another 9 beside it.
niran write 9 and stopped
kiran: what are you waiting for
niran: i don't know which side to write another 9





                                          Three turtle 
==============================================================
Three turtle decided to go to picnic. they manages every thing and start their journey.and when they reched the picnic spot they realise that they have forgotten the soda.the oldest turtle said who would go to home and brought soda. the young one said i will go if you all didn't eat the sandwiches until i got back. the youngest turtle goes but a week went by, then a month, finally a year, when two turtle said "oh, come on let's eat the sandwiches, now he won't come". suddenly the little turtle popped up from the rock and said, " if you do, i won't go!"

                                           Guess
===============================================================

niran: can you guess how many coins do i have?
kiran: if i guess right then will you give me one of them?
niran: if you guess right, i will give you both of them


                                        Home work
==============================================================



math teacher: kiran did you make this homework by yourself or your dad help you to make this

kiran: no sir he did it all by himself.




school interview


                       school interview
================================
kiran was very smart and he solve all the question in the written test so he was called for the interview. later as the interview progressed they found kiran to be bright since he answered all question correctly

the interviewer lastly give him to chose a question :
"i shall either ask you 10 easy question or 1 real difficult problem. think well before you make up your mind"



kiran thought for a while and said "My choice is 1 real difficult question."
well good luck you made your own choice. the interviewer asks: "what comes first, Day or Night?"

kiran thinks for a second and said Day
how????????? the interviewer ask
kiran: sir you have promissed to ask me only one difficult problem so i did it not next now